Embrace Small Change

Ryan Casto, LPCC

Associate Director, New Creation Counseling Center

5 January 2018

God describes growth in particular ways. Often he uses the analogy of how plants grow naturally on the earth to illustrate his point. One example is this passage from Mark 4:28:

For the earth bringeth forth fruit of herself;
first the blade, then the ear,
after that the full corn in the ear.

Here Jesus cites the way that corn grows - gradually and in stages. He says that somebody casts seed into the ground, and then one day there’s a blade. The end result is a tall stalk of corn, but in the beginning there’s only this leaf. I looked up the anatomy of corn to prepare for this article, and the first diagram I saw labeled the different parts of the corn plant, but made no mention of any "blade". It did not bode well for my article. Then the next diagram showed the anatomy of a “corn seedling” which it described as “ankle high”. And there, at the bottom of the ankle-high corn seedling, was the “leaf blade”. Yay!

Think about that. You have this really lofty goal, seven feet high, and the only thing you see is this little leaf. I guess if you’re a corn farmer then you’re used to it. But for a lot of us, we set goals, we make resolutions, or we are suffering and we demand change somewhere in our life, and we only have eyes for the final product. We don’t appreciate the leaf blade and that it is a necessary step in the growth process. We don’t see it as an indicator of bigger things to come and a sign that we are on the right track. Instead we can convince ourselves that we’re not changing at all.

Take me for example. I tend to make big lofty cornstalk goals. I can also be a perfectionist but at the same time not get much done. I expect my efforts to bear perfect fruit right out of the gate, and when my rough draft does not look like the final draft that's in my head, I get discouraged. It’s hard for me to be satisfied when what I’ve produced looks nothing like what I think it should. It is because I don’t truly have an appreciation, a respect, for what growth and change look like.

Another example is dealing with depression. When we are depressed it can be painful to look at our current symptoms (e.g. level of motivation, the way we feel, our activity level) compared to where we want to be, and we get desperate for change. When we make a small step toward our desired goal it is hard for us to celebrate it because, frankly, one small step out of the center of hell still feels like hell. It doesn’t feel like we’re changing. Things still don’t look at all the way they "should". We are expecting to see a full ear, but are only seeing that first little green of leaf. We do not esteem the little leaf blade that has grown, and so it does not compare to our pain. We smile five times in one day, on purpose, when smiling feels like the last thing we can do. This does not feel like any sort of accomplishment, even though it may represent a significant positive change in behavior. Sure, we understand the idea that it takes small steps to reach a goal. But when the goal is important to us, when the stakes are high, suddenly what we know logically and what we continue to expect look very different.

We have to embrace small changes and successes. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy there is a skill called Building Mastery. It is used to help generate positive emotions. The point is to achieve new things in everyday life that are still a challenge but are manageable and not overwhelming. For example learning a new recipe, a new song on the piano, or a new joke. Completing a small organizing project at your house. Getting good at an unfamiliar feature on your phone. Accomplishing small goals is important for a couple of reasons: it is the only way we will ever accomplish big goals; accomplishment sharpens us emotionally; it helps us believe that we can make other changes.

But with our eyes too focused on the big picture, on the final goal, on the full corn in the ear, we miss the success and sense of accomplishment of seeing the blade start to appear. We don't get encouraged that our big change is happening. We don’t have a vision for the message and meaning of small steps. Worse, we don’t appreciate the change process, we expect change to look different than it does, and we convince ourselves that we are not changing, which actually will keep us from persevering and seeing the bigger change that we hope for. Imagine seeing the blade but being convinced that you'll never see your full ear. Why would you keep watering and tending that corn plant when you believe it is already doomed?

Appreciate the need for small change. Celebrate when it happens and remember what it means. When you make a small change act like it’s a big deal, because it is a big deal. Make a small change, and work on making that change consistently. Small change not only leads to bigger change, it is the only way to bigger change. But we must respect the process. First the blade, then the ear, then the full corn in the ear.